Last Sunday, on August 25 to be exact, my parents, my sister and I were going together to mall for routine monthly shopping at Karawaci. When we were on our way back to home, we had lots of talks and jokes. At once – I wasn't pretty sure what we were talking about at that time
-- the point is there is something related to my mom. At one time, I told my sister that she has to do diet. And she replied that what if in the future she gets pregnant and gives birth, that will be very hard to lose her weight. Suddenly, my mom said: "I have four children and I still could lose my weight."
At first, I thought my mom was wrong-saying about that or probably she was having a joke that all four children she meant was me, Rio, and Lia (but she counted Lia as 2 children). Thus, I responded so to my mom. But, she said that it was true, she should have had four children. I am the eldest, and she failed the second one. My dad said that she should be my sister. We were only one year difference.
Suddenly, many questions appeared in my head: Where is she? What happened? How do I not know about this? Why my parents never tell me anything? etc etc
Patiently, my mom and dad told me that it was a difficult situation at that time for them to decide. Economically, they could not afford the fee for giving birth, raised another child, etc. So, they aborted for economy and health purpose. I was definitely shocked. There were mixed-feelings I felt at the same time. I… I… I was speechless.
My mom continued telling that she and dad felt very very guilty, but they had no options at that time. But they already confessed in a sacrament of penance (reconciliation). They felt very sorry to God.
Even until I write this post, I'm still confused. I don't know what to react and give opinions or thoughts. I only hope that God really really forgives us for everything that we have done in the past.
After all, I love my family. My dad, mom, bro, and sis. Probably, this is what it was meant to be.
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