Christmas Dinner with Bebs

After quite some time, we met again. Cherishing the moment with my besties is wonderful. Unfortunately, Romo, Bendot, Yayah couldn't make it. Missed them.

Thank God I have them.

My Meaningful Christmas

We were planning to have a mass in Christmas eve, but right before lunch, my sister called me that mom felt unwell and sick. I was quite shocked and worried on her. And after seeing a doctor, she was better and nothing to be worried of.

Hence, we had Christmas mass on 25 in the morning and spent the rest of the day with family in the mall. I felt that I am happy to spend the Christmas with my family, but somehow I didn't feel it happened to everyone. I sensed something was happening and not all of us felt in a Christmas mood. I felt awry and didn't know what to do.

The day after Christmas, my parents, siblings and their couples had another family time and asked us to go with them. However, I felt that it was not a good time to go, and we decided to stay at home. Although in the evening we watched movies, I still felt unfriendly situation with my wife.

9:30 PM, went to bed after an awkward day. And as usual, we prayed together before sleep. After closing off the prayer, suddenly my wife cried. And so she told me on everything she had been feeling recently. She thought that she had so many problems in her head, many things had happened and she thought that she could not handle them anymore, she was overwhelmed.

Apparently, she had troubles to sleep for weeks because of the problems in mind. She cried all the time and felt that things didn't seem go on her way. Long story short, she was worried and afraid if these bad situations would effect our marriage.

And then we had a deep, intense, and intimate talking. We solved the problem. We decided to move on and trust each other even more. And so she slept soundly.

I took my time to look back and diggest all these things that just went through to our life as husband and wife. Yes, we had fun, but a lot things happened not in our way. And so I felt that God is working on us right now. We were led and guided for a much better way. Although we didn't understand it yet, but I believe we are in a right track. We have Him by our side, and we just have to believe that.

Even though, it was tough situation, I closed of this year's Christmas with tons of thankfullness for all the joy, hardship, lessons, and finally smile and relief for we can stand together to face the obstacles. Thank you, Lord. We are blessed.

Merry Christmas

Got Slipped... and Trying to Get Back Up Higher

"Arrogant"; that might be the closest word that describes myself. For a moment I think that I have disappointed many people around me: my bosses, vendors, peers, my wife, and especially I have disappointed my own self.

"Overrated"; that one is also one of the closest word that describes what I think of my performance in office. Been doing extra miles, many jobs that are not exactly in my shop, and I thought I deserved much better rewards for what I have been doing. But, after knowing that I made a mistake which causes huge impact, I feel terrible, I feel useless. And it knocked me down to the earth and made me conscious that I am not that good enough. Not enough control, awareness, passion, spirit, determination, and the most important thing is HUMILITY. I was to cocky.

And now I got slipped to the very bottom of hollow, because my head was raised to high so I did not see what was in my path. So that I slipped and fell. I want to cry but tears don't come out. My disappointment of myself is extremely high. I am very embarrassed.

It is now very hard to face this as the peak looks so high right now. I can only cry myself and blame all the things that I did not do to make it all right from the early stage. There is only regret.

Now, I am trying to get back up higher than before. But, surely at this moment, I cannot expect that I can have wings to fly directly there. I will only have to trace it back one step at a time, slowly but sure and full of cautious.

"Hun, don't worry. People make mistake. Please don't get stressed out because of this issue. Trust me, happy and sorrow, we will face this together," my wife said.

Lord, thank you for giving me my wife. She has been very gorgeous to me over the years. Now, please let me face this with brave and responsibility. Let me have the spirit back to fix the broken things here. Let me always be reminded to always look down and humble, so that I won't fall anymore in the future.

AMEN

I Think I'm Not That Good

At the moment, I think I put myself in a situation that I have to admit I'm not that good in doing my job.

Looking back into my previous post, I think I overrated myself. And now I realize I was wrong. After years been doing this and now I loose my grip and got trouble because I did not control it well. It was just one simple thing but I missed it. Now I have to figure out how to solve the problem.

On the other side, I think God just sent me a clear message for I have to work harder to achieve something. I've been to cocky along this time, and now I get the punishment.

God, please let me always smile to face this and every obstacles on my way to success. Let me realize that this is just one of the trial that I have to through.