go direct*

*following the "go direct" statement, there should be: "go direct in a timely and RESPECTFUL way"

In my office, there are certain values/codes that represent company's values, culture, and are also the guidance to take action that have to be taken in sort of situation. And there are thirteen points in total, and they named it CoH (Code of Honor).

Back to my CDS session few weeks ago, I was handed-over or delegated to lead the team of price tracking independently. So, all my team members are officially and directly reporting to me. So, anyone, including my boss, supervisor, ANYONE.... should ask me whether my team members are available or not if they'd like to use one of 'em.

The day after, my colleague asked a favor. She needed help, she needed more resources to do her very-f*ckin irrational schedule of project. That is agreed earlier by Mr. always-"YES,sir" and the client. Now, we were all and are always in a tight schedule of our own projects. My suggestion was to hire temp staff for a week to help her, to ensure she will deliver the best result to the client. And then she got back to my boss to give options as I suggested. And... without asking my opinion, without (at least) re-looking and checking my team's workload, he directly went to my team member and "delegated" the task to her. Day after day, he's getting irrational. This is no longer healthy for me. I don't like kissing ass, and I won't f*ckin do that to get attention or anything.

Then I realize... we had the CoH. One of 'em says like this: "We go direct in a timely and RESPECTFUL way". Then I was thinking... hmmm... I didn't get any respect from this situation. I couldn't blame him anyway. He has the veto(s). But, please note that: I don't beg for attention!! I don't kiss ass, especially for respect.

And today, just now, my spv did the same thing. My team member went to me and said that there is new project incoming for him, and I don't know, they didn't tell me or ask me before. No more blaming.... That's not my type. I'll keep it myself. All I want to do now is do the best for my existing project. Try every possibility to get out of this place soon. I hope this hiring process can be passed successfully. I need this job (read: money) more than anything right now. I have family to be supported financially. So, I'm closing my ears now and do the best. Oopss.... surely I won't forget You, GOD. I leave the rest to you. Please give me faith as strong as Mother Mary. Thanks...