ada apa ya??

hmm...
semoga ndak ada sesuatu yang aneh2 aja.

This morning, my mom tell me about her dream last night.
She dreamed that I was in the living-room with some of my friends, one she could remember is Joko (maybe others are "brighter") ;p And then, after few moments, four others were coming and visiting me. They are: Erwin, Erna, YenYen, and a lady (she couldn't recognize who she was).

Haha... I wonder what it could mean. My mom just said that maybe you are missed by your friends. I don't know whether she realizes it or not, I've been trying to avoid to hang out with my friends lately. No specific reason. I just want to do that. She somehow asked me that it is uncommon for me to stay at home quite long in a long weekend. I should go out she said.

Well... spending a long weekend with mom, dad, bro, and sis is very nice, so priceless.

Humility

The wedding on Saturday was my 4th time
supporting a wedding organizer.
Well... I actually don't know where to start.
Many things happened. Good, inspiring,
bad and even worse...

I start from the bad.
Things were going fine until the wedding was about to begin.
I was plotted to support MC at the stage.
Altogether, working near me side-by-side,
my friend who handled sound/music.
When the bride&groom was about to entering the hall,
the sound-man played the wrong song.
And... started from here, chaotic sh*t happened one by one.
And moreover...
I felt like "a doctor in the middle of healthy people"
I was useless...
I didn't blame one person or what,
it was just... please be more patient and
trust all the tasks you had been given to me, and no questioning.
Everything had been done according to the run-down list.
I had checked it and sure I had done it.
If you thought I couldn't handle it,
do that yourself, then release me to other position.
Really... that night was a pathetic.

However, the good thing is, I can learn from the groom's family.
what was it?? It was HUMILITY.
They are rich, but they are (very) humble...
They are smart, but they want to listen (and learn)...
Their house is very homey, with Christmas ornaments here and there.
Very simple but beautiful, classy.
Truly, they are very nice people.

Well, at least I took a lesson from this.
The more you respect someone, the more they will respect you back.

c.d.s

For the 5th time, I had my cds yesterday morning.
Again... I've been faced with a dilemma.
On one side, if I think about this, I know it won't be enough if I stay here.
But on the other hand, my heart loves to be here.
To be honest, I don't know which side to choose now.
I'm almost 26 now. Still finding a way to survive from this tough life.
Still idealist, wants to learn so much from here, but I need to be paid more.
I have family... and won't abandon them for sure.

Speaking bout satisfaction, I'm not an ambitious man.
I am satisfied with what I got.
Of course I have target and put efforts to achieve it.
But, my trust to God is so high. I'm not worrying of my life at all.

However, whatever I've got, I thank God for everything He made in my life, so that I can be here.
Standing with pride and heads up, getting good and fair achievements, surrounding with extra-ordinary people, etc.
I feel I've been blessed, and I believe it is still and always be.
Thanks...

father and son... (touchy)

NEW YORK — The throng of media members around the makeshift stage seemed impenetrable, but Harlan Chamberlain motored his way through all of the cameras and notepads anyway. Reaching a blue barrier, he stopped his scooter, strained to look over a crowd of world champion Yankee ballplayers and tried to get a glimpse of his son. When that proved useless, he simply resorted to his considerable vocal chords.

"Jaaaaaaahba!" he yelled. "Jaaaaaaaaaahba!"

Harlan said his son's name a few more times, then spied A.J. Burnett(notes) in the crowd.

"Burnett!" he said. "Can you get my son!"

Burnett could and a few moments later, Joba Chamberlain(notes) put down the giant blue Yankee flag he had been waving up on stage. The big Yankees pitcher hopped off the stage, disappeared from the view of the Fox cameras and quickly made a beeline for his father. When they came together, they wrapped each other in a huge rocking bearhug.

It wasn't long before both were crying.

They said the same thing over and over.

"We did it, dad," Joba said.

"We did it," Harlan said.

"We did it," Joba said.

"We did it," Harlan said.

And on and on. They held tight for almost a minute. Their eyes were red when they let go.

You see the Yankees' $200+ million payroll and it's easy to get cynical. Same goes for their $1.5 billion new stadium, the seats that cost more than the average mortgage payment, the steroid controversies involving some of their team members and all the endless hype and hooey about mystique, aura and all the Yankee legends and ghosts.

But then you see this very simple and very real scene of a 24-year-old pitcher sharing the hug of a lifetime with his dad and you remember that those father-son relationships — one of the only things that really matter — are at the very heart of this great game that we love.

The same dynamic was on display everywhere at Yankee Stadium on Wednesday night. Way up in the upper deck, a dad tossed his little son into the air whenever Hideki Matsui(notes) came through (which was often). A mid-20s hipster sitting next to them made sure to ask one of my co-workers to snap a photo of him and his pops with his grainy cell phone camera. CC Sabathia(notes) did his postgame interviews with his little son on his shoulders the whole time.

And while all of those tiny little snapshots meant the world to those pictured in them, none of them seemed quite as remarkable to outsiders as the one taken by the Chamberlains.

Their story has been told often since Joba became a pitcher with the Yankees. Harlan was stricken with polio as a child and his health problems have confined him to the trademark scooter that gets him recognized by Yankee fans everywhere. Despite his limitations, he raised both Joba and his sister in Nebraska and provided for them while working in a prison. The sad story of Joba's mother is sadly well-known — she's facing 20 years in jail for a drug charge — but he's always had the love and support from an extraordinary father. They call each other their best friends. It's impossible for them to be any closer.

I caught up with Harlan later on Wednesday night and asked him what it was like to see his son pitch a scoreless inning in a World Series clincher. Then I asked him what it was like to have the hug on the field with him afterward. His eyes were still teary as he talked.

"I told my son for years that he would do this, we would talk about getting to the World Series all the time" said Harlan while stopped near home plate of Yankee Stadium. "We just shared that moment while realizing that he did it. I pinched myself a few times. It's pretty awesome.

"We love each very much. This whole adventure in life is about family and in our case, it's about father and son."

In the days ahead, we're sure to see a lot of scenes from the Yankees 27th championship. Some we'll be bound to remember. Some we'll be bound to forget.

It's not hard to tell which category the Chamberlains' special moment will fall under, because it rarely gets much better than that.

aarrggghhh....

Damn... F*** F*** F*** F*** F***....
agak sedikit menyesal gue nolak IDC....
Just missed an opportunity to have a new experience outside.
Why did I say: "Sorry, I've to turn it down now"
aarrgghh...
so idiot... I must have been drunk...
I should've said that: "OK... tell me about it" or "I'm listening" or "when or where should I meet you?"

I know I'm avoiding to have a career in other research agencies for some reasons. I'd prefer trying a new experience in client/user side. But at least, you can test yourself with the interviews, psycho-test, analysis test, etc. This is to know your capability and test your experience and knowledge in solving a problem.

Anyway, I did it... I turned it down. I've chosen... I chose to decline. No regrets...

Mazmur 94:14

"Aku tau engkau sedang gelisah, permasalahan mu berat, meski kau hanya datang pada Ku ketika kau merasa lelah, ingatlah Aku tak pernah melupakan mu dan apa yang kau lakukan bagi Ku tidaklah sia - sia."

Two Wishes

I guess it's fading away. Nothing I can do right now. I've always promised to not surrender, but now I'm caught in the situation where I have to decide, not to follow the flow.

Now, there are only two wishes to God:
1. If I have to move on: please "kill" the feelings inside.
2. If I have to stay and hold on: please show me a sign.

This is the most horrible situation I've experienced in my life, ever.