Maybe it's not the time.
Lately, my mind has been bothered by our chance to have a mortgage using my wife's entitled facility from her company she works at. The issue is on the appraisal. Somehow it went down to far from the proposed amount. Thus we have to add up quite much to get the house, which is quite difficult for us to afford it.
Few days ago, I woke up at 2:00 AM and hardly got back to sleep again. I was thinking about what went wrong with the process, were we proposing to high, anything that we can do to make it exactly what we wanted to, how could the appraiser be so stupid, can I bribe the appraiser, etc. My mind kept thinking about those questions for about half an hour. Until the time I realized and closed my eyes for couple minutes, I asked God and surrendered, I made peace with myself and situation. I was suddenly enlightened and conscious that I have to let go, I have to let God decides what is best for me, for us. If we are not moving there, then we already have a house too. So, what do I expect? I am not homeless though. I still have a house, a beautiful house. I am so possible to move there. In other view, maybe God doesn't allow me to have a big installment, He might have planned something bigger for us, so that we must prepare well. That's why I think I am greedy and thankless.
I was remembering couple things in the past which showed my impatience and unappreciative behavior. I therefore thought that this was the time for me to make peace to myself and situation, to let God's grace works upon us in order to lead us in making a decision for our future house. I kept saying that I let every thing happens on your will. However, when it came out of my will, I asked You a lot, I forgot that I already said otherwise. I am sorry.
After an enlightening one hour, I fell asleep again, and got up in the morning with smile. Thanks for guiding me, God. I am sure the time will come. I just have to wait and pray...
Lately, my mind has been bothered by our chance to have a mortgage using my wife's entitled facility from her company she works at. The issue is on the appraisal. Somehow it went down to far from the proposed amount. Thus we have to add up quite much to get the house, which is quite difficult for us to afford it.
Few days ago, I woke up at 2:00 AM and hardly got back to sleep again. I was thinking about what went wrong with the process, were we proposing to high, anything that we can do to make it exactly what we wanted to, how could the appraiser be so stupid, can I bribe the appraiser, etc. My mind kept thinking about those questions for about half an hour. Until the time I realized and closed my eyes for couple minutes, I asked God and surrendered, I made peace with myself and situation. I was suddenly enlightened and conscious that I have to let go, I have to let God decides what is best for me, for us. If we are not moving there, then we already have a house too. So, what do I expect? I am not homeless though. I still have a house, a beautiful house. I am so possible to move there. In other view, maybe God doesn't allow me to have a big installment, He might have planned something bigger for us, so that we must prepare well. That's why I think I am greedy and thankless.
I was remembering couple things in the past which showed my impatience and unappreciative behavior. I therefore thought that this was the time for me to make peace to myself and situation, to let God's grace works upon us in order to lead us in making a decision for our future house. I kept saying that I let every thing happens on your will. However, when it came out of my will, I asked You a lot, I forgot that I already said otherwise. I am sorry.
After an enlightening one hour, I fell asleep again, and got up in the morning with smile. Thanks for guiding me, God. I am sure the time will come. I just have to wait and pray...
