Friday, May 3, 2024

I am so sorry, Em

We all know that my daughter has eating problem. She can't really eat properly. She gets hard to swallow food without help of water. 

I didn't know what devil came inside my head that made me furious and angry to her, so that I throw her stickers away and made her sad. I knew she wanted to cry but she hold it bacause she was afraid of me.

And there was the moment when I commanded her to finish all her meals and swallow, she said "but daddy I'm full already..." (while holding back her tears), that was the moment I knew I was over the line, I was too harsh and act inappropriately. I was completely wrong.

I apologized to her right after 15mins, but that didn't cover her disappointment that shown in her eyes. I failed you, my daughter. I am so sorry.. I can't stop crying even until now. That's why last night I slept right beside you and hug you over night just to let you know that I wanted to fix this.. I know you are still angry. Please forgive me, Em. I have no excuse to justify what I did last night. I am sorry Lord for being a bad father.

Saturday, March 9, 2024

powerless

I thought it was going to be better soon, but it isn't. 

No change at all... ah no.. it changes, but gets worse!!!

Now I don't know how long I could stand the pain.