Communication

Last night was a tough one for us to face our next journey in life. Probably, the toughest one so far. We had a tough conversation related to our appointment yesterday. Once again, it involved my brother.
 
Briefly, I had to meet my girlfriend for a dinner last night. But, my brother didn't come home at time after he finished playing soccer. As a result, we just left home from Tangerang late at seven o'clock and arrived at Jakarta at 8.15PM.
 
I was very surprised after I met my girlfriend last night and she felt very upset and was mad at me. The point is: I broke promises.
 
Well, I know I was wrong for the delay, but that was with condition. And I also understood of my girlfriend's worry for our future life and relationship. This has to be cleared between us, and among our whole family.
 
Despite of awkward, miss-communication, etc…. I found that my girlfriend missed me so much for she said that she needed to spend some time with me, even just to have a dinner. I also believe this can be our learning process to face our real life after the marriage. I know this is not easy, and I hope she feels the same as I do. I am also grateful for this had happened to us before our marriage, so that we will be much more ready when we are married.

2013 Kaleidoscope

Flash back to what had happened in 2013, below are several things to describe how colorful 2013 is:

NEW JOB

As of May 1, 2013, I started my new journey at ….. I hope I can contribute many to the company.

FAMILY  IN PADANG

In the late of August, my girlfriend and I went to Padang to visit her family there. This was also as my responsibility as a man to introduce myself to her family. Overall, I enjoyed the trip; the family was very nice and welcoming, foods are superb.

N.E.R.D

Non Erosive Reflux Disease, this has been successfully making me suffered from a bad stomachache and terrible upper-abdomen symptoms from April 2013. I was very scared if this could be a heart condition or not. Having checked my medical condition to Penang, I found that this was not a heart condition, but totally a stomach problem.

Although sometimes I can still feel discomfort in my upper abdomen and chest, but things are getting better now. In the end of January 2014, I will have to do the control to Penang again to determine what will be the next cure.

Thank God, that this was not as bad as I thought. However, I still have to control my meal and life style. Thanks to my family and my girlfriend as well for they were always there to support and take care of me when I was run to a hospital, etc. Especially to my girlfriend, thank to accompany me in Penang to run several tests for medical checkup.

FIRST YEAR

October 27, 2013 remarked my first year relationship with my girlfriend. I'm so happy so I cannot say anything about this. I can only hope this lasts forever.

CHRISTMAS AND NEW YEAR

Christmas is always special. Had a Christmas' Eve Mass with my lovely girlfriend at St Theresia, and also had a dinner with the Bebs at Potato Head Garage. Livia's mom visited us along the Christmas holiday in Jakarta. Had a year-end dinner with my ex colleagues at Goods Diner. Finally, closed the year 2013 with family at Grand Tropic Hotel, had family casual dinner, watched fireworks in some of western part of Jakarta.

IN A SUMMARY

2013 was a very struggling year to my health condition. Lots of money and time spent to overcome the situation. However, I found that my family situation are getting better and better. Dad is in a more-friendly type of father now. Mom gets happier and last month she just had a holiday in Singapore. There were still frictions, but they were still normal.

Rio and Lia have good early stage of career. I'm very sure that they can be successful persons. I also hope their relationship with their boy/girl friend will go to the next step in the future.

I think my relationship with my girlfriend is getting deeper and we are ready to step further.

2014

This will be a big year for me as a person. I'll be thirty years old and I'll marry my girlfriend in October 11, 2014. I wish and pray that everything will run smoothly, and the most importantly is our marriage-life after the wedding.

I pray for everyone's health and happiness. Hopefully, we will have better career ahead, will have more quality time to our beloved ones, will be wiser and more mature, and above all, we will get closer to God.

I Made Her "Cry"

It sounds like something bad happen to my girlfriend and I, doesn’t it? Well, that was totally wrong. 

Two days ago, my girlfriend asked me about my blog address. At first, I was ashamed to give it to her, but she insisted to read it, and so I gave it. After reading couple of posts, she started to cry to know the other side of me, the fragile side of me. I’m that weak, actually. I had no one to tell my story, I didn’t want to share any load to my family, because I didn’t want to make them sad or anything, so that I wrote this blog.

She said that she was grateful for everything happened to her, and she said that I’m too good to be true for her. 

I’ve never thought what I wrote would arouse someone’s feeling, honestly. Well, I thank God for letting me inspire someone for what I wrote. Not a fancy things, but at least this makes my girlfriend loves me more, and I do love her too even more.

One Year

As of today, we have been a couple for one year. Thus, it is a special day for my girlfriend and I. We agreed to plan ahead for further relationship. Hopefully, we can make it next year.  We are very serious with this.

We have also started to prepare everything, start from HOUSE. After about seven months of searching, finally today, we officially book a two-floor house in Karawaci area for our future. Wow… what a way to start it. I hope we can go through this together.

I want to thank God for making it happened to us. I cannot ask for more. Thanks for all Your kindness.  It’s all about time, and Your time is just perfect. Praise the Lord. Amen.

I am Lucky

Almost a year being a couple, I can’t stop thanking God for He has given me the best lady by my side. She is like the one for me. She’s very thoughtful, nice, caring, willing to sacrifice for me, etc.

There were two times I was run to the hospital for my chest pain, and she was always there to take care of me, waiting for me, and ensuring me that everything’s going to be okay.

When talking about future, I always said that I need her to understand and I will need some time to collect the money for wedding, future house, etc. And she said that I don’t have to be worry too much about that, and she wanted us to share the load. She doesn’t want me to take the entire burden by myself. She said that if we go together, we get through all the laughter and pain together, both material and moral support.

When talking about wedding, fortunately, she has the same concept with me. Not a fancy one, but more casual, no main stage, no formal ceremony. We want a very casual and friendly celebration. We both will just mingle around with the guests, relatives, friends, and colleagues.

Thank God… can’t ask for more.

Padang Trip

Aug 31 to Sep 3, I went to Padang with my girlfriend for the first time. It was really such an experience in my girlfriend's hometown. I met her big family there. They are very welcome and nice. I stayed in her house in Padang. It isn't big, but very clean and homey. It's in China-town area called Pondok and it is close enough to the shore, only about five minutes with motor-bike. Her parents welcomed me very well, also with her brother, whom actually met him prior when he was visiting us to Jakarta about a month before.

I went there not only for holiday, but also to let them know that I am serious with my relationship with my girlfriend. And it's about time for me to step further with my girlfriend. Hopefully, next year at the latest, I can marry her.

As usual, every trip to new cities is time to explore the food. And for me, Padang has many good foods. Unfortunately, my condition is not pretty well to take all of them. However, I promise to get recovered soon and will be back there with perfect condition and enjoy Padang even more.

Once again, that was a pleasant trip and meaningful holiday. Thanks a lot to all the family there. Let us all hope for a good progress here and meet you all again as part of my big family.

They Kept This Secret for About 28 Years

Last Sunday, on August 25 to be exact, my parents, my sister and I were going together to mall for routine monthly shopping at Karawaci. When we were on our way back to home, we had lots of talks and jokes. At once – I wasn't pretty sure what we were talking about at that time
-- the point is there is something related to my mom. At one time, I told my sister that she has to do diet. And she replied that what if in the future she gets pregnant and gives birth, that will be very hard to lose her weight. Suddenly, my mom said: "I have four children and I still could lose my weight."

At first, I thought my mom was wrong-saying about that or probably she was having a joke that all four children she meant was me, Rio, and Lia (but she counted Lia as 2 children). Thus, I responded so to my mom. But, she said that it was true, she should have had four children. I am the eldest, and she failed the second one. My dad said that she should be my sister. We were only one year difference.

Suddenly, many questions appeared in my head: Where is she? What happened? How do I not know about this? Why my parents never tell me anything? etc etc

Patiently, my mom and dad told me that it was a difficult situation at that time for them to decide. Economically, they could not afford the fee for giving birth, raised another child, etc. So, they aborted for economy and health purpose. I was definitely shocked. There were mixed-feelings I felt at the same time. I… I… I was speechless.

My mom continued telling that she and dad felt very very guilty, but they had no options at that time. But they already confessed in a sacrament of penance (reconciliation). They felt very sorry to God.

Even until I write this post, I'm still confused. I don't know what to react and give opinions or thoughts. I only hope that God really really forgives us for everything that we have done in the past.

After all, I love my family. My dad, mom, bro, and sis. Probably, this is what it was meant to be.

Arti Kesetiaan

Got this from a broadcast message... so touchy for me, personally... I hope I could always remember this story when or if I get trial in my marriage life in the future.

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Kisah nyata yang bagus sekali untuk contoh kita semua yang saya dapat dari millis sebelah (kisah ini pernah ditayangkan di MetroTV).

Ini cerita nyata, beliau adalah Bapak Eko Pratomo Suyatno, Direktur Fortis Asset Management yang sangat terkenal di kalangan Pasar Modal dan Investment, beliau juga sangat sukses dalam memajukan industri Reksadana di Indonesia. Apa yang diutarakan beliau adalah sangat benar sekali. Silakan baca dan dihayati.

Dilihat dari usianya beliau sudah tidak muda lagi, usia yang sudah senja bahkan sudah mendekati malam, Pak Suyatno 58 tahun kesehariannya diisi dengan merawat istrinya yang sakit istrinya juga sudah tua.Mereka menikah sudah lebih 32 tahun. Mereka dikarunia 4 orang anak.

Disinilah awal cobaan menerpa, setelah istrinya melahirkan anak keempat tiba-tiba kakinya lumpuh dan tidak bisa digerakkan. Itu terjadi selama 2 tahun. Menginjak tahun ke tiga, seluruh tubuhnya menjadi lemah bahkan terasa tidak bertulang, lidahnyapun sudah tidak bisa digerakkan lagi.

Setiap hari Pak Suyatno memandikan, membersihkan kotoran, menyuapi, dan mengangkat istrinya keatas tempat tidur. Sebelum berangkat kerja, dia letakkan istrinya di depan TV supaya istrinya tidak merasa kesepian. Walau istrinya tidak dapat bicara tapi dia selalu melihat istrinya tersenyum.

Untunglah tempat usaha pak suyatno tidak begitu jauh dari rumahnya sehingga siang hari dia pulang untuk menyuapi istrinya makan siang. Sorenya dia pulang memandikan istrinya, mengganti pakaian dan selepas sore dia temani istrinya nonton televisi sambil menceritakan apa-apa saja yang dia alami seharian. Walaupun istrinya hanya bisa memandang tapi tidak bisa menanggapi, Pak Suyatno sudah cukup senang, bahkan dia selalu menggoda istrinya setiap berangkat tidur.

Rutinitas ini dilakukan Pak Suyatno lebih kurang 25 tahun, dengan sabar dia merawat istrinya bahkan sambil membesarkan ke 4 buah hati mereka, sekarang anak-anak mereka sudah dewasa, tinggal si bungsu yang masih kuliah.

Pada suatu hari, ke empat anak suyatno berkumpul dirumah orang tua mereka sambil menjenguk ibunya. Karena setelah anak mereka menikah, sudah tinggal dengan keluarga masing-masing dan Pak Suyatno memutuskan ibu mereka dia yang merawat, yang dia inginkan hanya satu semua anaknya berhasil.

Dengan kalimat yang cukup hati-hati anak yang sulung berkata “Pak kami ingin sekali merawat ibu, semenjak kami kecil melihat bapak merawat ibu, tidak ada sedikitpun keluhan keluar dari bibir bapak, bahkan bapak tidak ijinkan kami menjaga ibu”.

Dengan air mata berlinang anak itu melanjutkan kata-kata: “sudah yang keempat kalinya kami mengijinkan bapak menikah lagi, kami rasa ibupun akan mengijinkannya, kapan bapak menikmati masa tua bapak, dengan berkorban seperti ini kami sudah tidak tega melihat bapak. Kami janji kami akan merawat ibu sebaik-baik secara bergantian”.

Pak Suyatno menjawab hal yang sama sekali tidak diduga anak-anaknya: “Anak-anakku… Jikalau perkawinan dan hidup di dunia ini hanya untuk nafsu, mungkin bapak akan menikah.. tapi ketahuilah dengan adanya ibu kalian disampingku itu sudah lebih dari cukup, dia telah melahirkan kalian. Sejenak kerongkongannya tersekat, kalian yang selalu kurindukan hadir di dunia ini dengan penuh cinta yang tidak satupun dapat dihargai dengan apapun.”

“Coba kalian tanya ibumu apakah dia menginginkan keadaannya seperti ini? Kalian menginginkan bapak bahagia, apakah bathin bapak bisa bahagia meninggalkan ibumu dengan keadaanya sekarang, kalian menginginkan bapak yang masih diberi Tuhan kesehatan dirawat oleh orang lain? Bagaimana dengan ibumu yg masih sakit.”

Sejenak meledaklah tangis anak-anak pak suyatno. Merekapun melihat butiran-butiran kecil jatuh dipelupuk mata ibu Suyatno. Dengan pilu ditatapnya mata suami yg sangat dicintainya itu.

Sampailah akhirnya Pak Suyatno diundang oleh salah satu stasiun TV swasta untuk menjadi nara sumber dan mereka pun mengajukan pertanyaan kepada Suyatno, kenapa mampu bertahan selama 25 tahun merawat Istrinya yang sudah tidak bisa apa-apa.

Disaat itulah meledak tangis beliau dengan tamu yang hadir di studio, kebanyakan kaum perempuanpun tidak sanggup menahan haru. Disitulah Pak Suyatno bercerita..” Jika manusia didunia ini mengagungkan sebuah cinta dalam perkawinannya, tetapi tidak mau memberi (memberi waktu, tenaga, pikiran, perhatian) itu adalah kesia-siaan”.

“Saya memilih istri saya menjadi pendamping hidup saya, dan sewaktu dia sehat diapun dengan sabar merawat saya, mencintai saya dengan hati dan bathinnya bukan dengan mata, dan dia memberi saya 4 orang anak yang lucu-lucu. Sekarang dia sakit karena berkorban untuk cinta kita bersama. Dan itu merupakan ujian bagi saya, apakah saya dapat memegang komitmen untuk mencintainya apa adanya. Sehatpun belum tentu saya mencari penggantinya apalagi dia sakit…”

**Semoga cerita ini bermanfaat untuk Anda renungkan "Arti Kesetiaan", Amin.