Sunday, February 5, 2017

Sebenernya Aku........

Hun...

Sebenernya aku kasian
Ngeliat kamu dengan banyak masalah di kantor sama bosmu yang begitu. Belom lagi dengerin kamu rempong entah sama urusan keluarga kita lah, ini lah itu lah..

Sebenernya aku empati
Ngebayangin kamu kepingin banget pindah kerja ke perusahaan lain. Walaupun kalau lihat fakta bahwa kantornya ga jauh dari rumah dan sudah lumayan. Tapi aku ngerti kok... dan support apapun keputusannya nanti.

Sebenernya aku jengkel
Kalo hal-hal yg di atas tadi akhirnya sedikit banyak mempengaruhi kita berdua. Kita dulu commit kalau di rumah seminimal mungkin ngomongin kerjaan.

Sebenernya aku kesel banget
Karena kalau uda distracted sama kerjaan, semua behavior pasti kebawa-bawa sampe ke rumah. Yah behavior yang pushy lah, yang bentar-bentar nanya update ini itu lah, dan kalo belom dilakuin malah agak maksa untuk dilakuin. Aku dejavu...kamu kayak mantan-mantan bosku. Ini kalo kamu baca, mudah-mudahan inget ini kapan kejadiannya sampe aku nulis begini. Karna aku ga mao kita berantem kayak anak kecil gara-gara beginian. Kita punya rencana dan tujuan yang jauh lebih penting dari sekedar talking about small things yang akhirnya ngerusak semua mood yang coba dibangun dengan baik. Aku rasa hal-hal ga penting seperti itu bisa nunggu kok untuk dibicarakan.

Sebenernya aku gatau
Aku ga tau gimana bilangnya sama kamu tanpa bikin kamu jadi sedih atau malah marah dan ga terima. Aku rasa kita harus sedikit nekan ego, lebih relax dan let go. Tinggalkan sifat bossy dari kantor. Apalagi setelah seminggu kita penuh pressure.

Sebenernya aku gamao ngepost begini
Tapi aku gatau gimana caranya.

Yang pasti...
sebenernya aku mao kamu tau kalo
sebenernya aku care banget
sebenernya aku gamao kamu stress
sebenernya aku sayang banget sama kamu

Makanya kita perlu latih ego kita lebih baik ya.. mari berdoa lebih kuat supaya keinginan kita terwujud. Jangan kuatir, aku ga pernah berhenti berharap dan berdoa untuk memiliki usaha sendiri supaya kita bisa lebih fokus dengan keluarga.

May God bless you hun... and us..
Love you always.

Friday, January 13, 2017

Unconditional Love

Just now, I read a shared status of a man in a social media page. Currently, his wife was diagnosed of stadium four tongue cancer and they will need lots of money for the treatment and cure. He somehow does not ask for a common donation. He offers his body organs to everybody who would like to buy for any purpose. Until this post, his status is still going viral in the social media. I hope somebody will catch his offer and donate for him for free.

 

I got a really priceless lesson from this. This man somehow loves his woman unconditionally. It is maybe easy if a couple say each other that "I love you unconditionally." Until that "condition" came to their life, then this will be the real test of their so-called "unconditional love."

 

In this case, the man really really show us what "unconditional love" is. That's what makes this very meaningful to me as a man, as a husband.

 

God, I really hope I can reach that level, although I also hope that I can reach that level without such "condition" happen to any of us. Please help us to grow our love each and every day to reach that level of "unconditional love." Strengthen our relationship with trust and respect. Gentle our heart with passion.

 

Love you, hun... unconditionally...


Tuesday, January 10, 2017

Uncomfort.... Annoying....

Well... it is not always smooth and perfect, is it? I learned that it is very important for a couple to really understand each other very well.

 

Lately, she often annoys me with her attitude . When she wants something, she has to have it or get it. Her ego is somehow killing me.

 

Few days ago, we debated on notary stuffs. The thing is, we are needing a notary service badly. At first we had difficulty in contacting our notary partner, but we had been informed that this would be followed up after the holiday. However, she insisted on asking it over and over again. Asking for another option and being so impatient and again.

 

Yesterday, we debated on something small and silly. So, we are repairing our bathroom in our house. The thing debated was about how to provide the handymen lunch. She asked me to ask our contractor partner on how many handymen will be employed, then we would provide lunch according to it. I explained that this was a contractor stuffs, number of handymen could be vary based on what job was being executed. So, I told her we could just ask my brother-in-law to come over and ask, and buy their meals according to it. And the warteg is not far, afterall. But, she insisted and pushed me to ask the contractor on how many of them. I am very sure that today or tomorrow the number of handymen will be different. If it is less than two persons, then there will be a excess. Otherwise, there will be shortage, and my brother-in-law will need to come back and buy again.

 

The thing is, I really didn't understand what she stood for by being so annoying like that. She somehow becomes very pushy and egoistic. I don't want to assume but I think she becomes like the bosses. She told me that her boss is very pushy and demanding. This reminds me of my former bosses, too. I think those things plus the pressure in her office shaped her attitude.

 

If you read this, Hun, I don't want to mad at you on something silly like this. Maybe, if I counter you back on these above stuffs, we might have "a big fight upon a small thing", and it's not worth it, and I don't want it to happen to us. Our love and marriage are much more important than this.

 

There is something we need to work on... our attitude. It is very important for us to separate office stuffs and family stuffs. I, myself, has tried very best to keep the line straight and clear. When I am home, I will try not to bring office stuffs home, and moreover my attitude at office.

 

It is hard, you know, to hold this bad feeling. I think somehow we need to let go, get a loose, don't over think, don't over react, don't make things complicated, and don't enforce too much on something. Sometimes if we look around, couple or family that don't have many things, in fact, have a lot to be grateful. They don't over think, they just let it go, and let if flow.

 

My wife, I love you so much that I don't want to bring this up into a conversation due to your hectic and busy moment recently. But, if you ever read this, please remember that we have been through so many things... happiness, sadness, fun, anger, and sooo many moments. I am sure we can get through this.

 

Sorry if this hurts you, but above all of these, I love you as always... And hoping this will make our relationship even much stronger and hotter than ever. Hehehehe....



Thursday, December 22, 2016

Mencari Kebahagiaan

Segitu banyaknya hal di dunia ini yang bisa membuat orang tertawa, tapi walaupun semua orang yang bahkan sudah mengalami itu pun pasti masih ada yang tetap bertanya, di mana kebahagiaan itu. Terkadang sudah memiliki segala hal seperti harta, karir, kesuksesan, kecukupan, tapi ternyata tidak lengkap saat terpikir bahwa orang tersebut belum memiliki pasangan hidup, atau belum memiliki anak, atau selalu merasa sendirian. Ada yang walaupun hidup berkecukupan tapi sulit untuk tidak melihat hijaunya rumput tetangga. Sehingga sebentar-sebentar maunya cari atau beli rumput yang lebih hijau dari tetangganya. And it keeps going on and on and on, sampai entah kapan orang tersebut merasa cukup bahagia... atau jangan-jangan gak pernah merasa cukup juga... well, who knows...

 

Ada yang salah kalau saya nulis ini? Nggak juga sih... Cuma sempat kepikiran aja belakangan ini. Sejak menikah, saya merasa semakin banyak bersyukur dan berserah (bukannya pasrah ya). Cobaan pasti ada aja yang dateng, tapi untungnya komunikasi, saling percaya, dll membuat hubungan saya dengan istri baik-baik saja. Justru saya merasa beruntung sekali diberikan istri yang luar biasa pengertian, menerima apa adanya (bukan ada apanya). Tidak peduli posisi saya di perusahaan seperti apa, selama kami bisa sama-sama menghasilkan dan menabung untuk mencapai cita-cita kami. Tinggal menunggu kehadiran seorang anak dalam rumah ini hehehe... Semoga Tuhan mendengar doa kami.

 

Seringkali melihat di medsos, temen-temen/ kerabat kami yang pergi jalan-jalan ke luar negeri, dll. Toh kami ujung-ujungnya peginya ke Singapore lagi aja hahaha. Males banget yang jauh-jauh... dan sayang duitnya kalo dipake banyak-banyak, karena ada cita-cita yang lebih besar lagi. Yah... nanti pasti pergi lah, but not in a near future. Yang penting punya anak dulu nih hahahhaha.

 

Seiring waktu, setelah menikah, kenapa yang saya rasakan, susah sekali ngumpul bareng sama temen-temen deket: Joko, Benny, Pipi, Chichi, Yayah, Gouw, Ahau. Yah masing-masing memang udah cukup sibuk dengan urusan masing-masing. Atau barangkali udah punya kelompok lain yang memang mereka jadi lebih deket ke yang lain. That's fine... itu pilihan masing-masing lah untuk mendapatkan kebahagiaan. Whatever it is... gue gak lupa lah sama semua memory yang udah dilalui bareng-bareng sama mereka. Tapi eniwei masih sering ketemuan lah sama Erwin, the one that I think my best friend ever. He just graduated his MBA, and currently he is a principal of a consultant company. However, he doesn't care of what you are now, he is very sincere. We make a very good friendship thus far.

 

Siapa lagi ya temen-temen gue yang uda susah ketemu... Temen-temen SD: Ryan, Karen, Avi, Michael, Thomas, Rommel, Willy, Ika, Wuenny. Temen-temen SMP SMA: All bebs, Eka, Lanang, Pia, Amin, Michael ndut. Temen-temen Kuliah: Momon, Kope, Ode, Santi, Nabely, Fiki, Fanny, Yudis, Ono, Deny, Andi, Ivan, Su, Dede, Sontol, Icup (entah dimana), Empe, Bambang, Andi, Panpan. Temen-temen ex-S**re: Indah, Adit, Christin, Yenyen, Erna, Andrias, Limy, Maria... and so many lah yang ga bisa gue sebutin satu2 di sini. Even, my wife always confuses because I have so many friends hahahaha...

 

Am I worried on this? No... I just feel something missing aja. Karena ga nyangka makin susah cari waktu untuk ketemuan hahaha. Setidaknya kerinduan ini aja yang muncul. Hingga di satu titik gue merasa sangat amat bersyukur atas kehidupan ini. Tuhan ngasih gue kesempatan untuk berteman sekian banyaknya sejak gue kecil hingga sekarang ini. You can never please everybody, but at least you have them in your life story, and hopefully they do the same thing of yours.

 

Ada benang merah yang bisa gue ambil dari semua ini, hubungan ini, persahabatan yang pernah terjalin, dan terus terjalin walaupun frekuensi berkurang, tapi intensitas tetap sama. Semoga kita gak lupa satu sama lain ya, guys. Ternyata kebahagiaan itu sesederhana itu. Mengingat semua kepahitan masa lalu, malah jadi gula yang paling manis setelah bertahun-tahun yah hahaha. Hingga akhirnya setiap ketemu, tidak perlu lagi mencoba-coba mencari cerita baru atau ice breaking, cukup mengungkit-ungkit masa lalu aja udah jadi cerita terbaik yang bisa kita obrolin. Dan akhirnya tidak ada lagi kesepian dan kesendirian, yang ada hanya bahagia yang kembali ditemukan J.

 

Dan yang penting... saya bahagia apa adanya... dan semoga terus begitu...

Wednesday, October 19, 2016

I Missed Her

Last Sunday, my wife went to Padang for holiday with family. Too bad I couldn't come with her. Now, I miss her so much. Her cheerfulness is undeniable. I even cried a bit when I said goodbye at the airport. I missed her already at that time. I love her that much.

Wednesday, October 12, 2016

Two Years Already

Yesterday was our second year as husband and wife. Time flies damn fast, and I still have the same feeling on you. I still feel the sparks when I see you from far while you are waiting for me for a lunch date or dinner after office hour. I still feel the warmth when hugging you before sleep. I still feel your joy every Friday morning for we will have another weekend to spend together. I always look forward to seeing you again and again when we had a date, and watching you widely smile when you look at me from far. 

Don't forget about the struggles! It is impossible if there were no downs. I know on some points we have disputes, but stay calm and lower the ego, and I am sure we can get through this together. A wise man says that "a couple that grows together, stays together." For whatever reason we have, let's grow together, let's learn together, let's have fun together, love and respect each other, and I really hope I could spend the rest of my life together with you by my side, happy or sad, in a good luck or bad, and if God permits, I also want to spend it together with our children.

Let's explore further... having adventures and be happy.

God bless us, Hun... 

Happy 2nd Wedding Anniversary.


Tuesday, October 4, 2016

Happy Wedding, Brother!!!

I am not your father, though. However, last Sunday when I saw you kneeling down in front of our parents, paying honor, and crying like a baby, made me understand more to become a father someday. I was so moved and happy to see you walking down the aisle with your wife. At the same time, I was very happy to see our parents happy and proud. Yes, I am sure they proud.

We may not have an ultimate brotherhood relationship or something like that, but I am sure we love each other, and do care about each other. You may not read this post, as nobody won't, except my wife. I know we may often argue on something for we are stubborn. I know most of the time I dislike your ignorant, uncare, and unorganized behavior. But, I do hope you know that I love and care about you.

I pray for you to have a long lasting marriage with your wife. Blessed with wonderful kids and wealth. And we have better and better relationship as brothers, as well as with all our big family, our parents, sister, siblings in law, relatives, etc.

I remember I was very happy and proud to see you graduated from college. This time I felt the same thing... happy and proud.

Happy wedding, brother!!! God bless you.


Tuesday, August 2, 2016

This is So So So Frustrating

It has been months when I started to have my disease under treatment, and just found it that it gets much worse after several weeks of positive progress.

At the moment, I can't think any positive thoughts. I just don't know what to do. Lots of money spent, time wasted.

Oh Lord, help me please. I don't know what to do.