EGO

I think I'm almost giving up. This is just too nuts for me. Feels like I'm nobody for her.

All those negativities she brings in to our relationship: bad temper, judgmental behaviors, over worrying on something but at the same time less caring on other things that might be more important, disrespectful behavior, etc.

I have been trying to hold off all emotions, angers, and argument. This is to make our relationship better. But somehow it gets even harder every single day.

For example, she became too much worries on our daughter everytime she doesn't want to eat or drink her milk. Getting too worry whenever she loses weight. And when I said "I think Em is not in the mood to eat, it's been more than 1 hour." And she always rudely responded "SHE HASN'T EAT EVERYTHING THE WHOLE DAY." And as usual, I will just let it go, no arguing at all although I know that Em has taken breads and some snacks. It is sad for me to see my wife and my mom-in-law treating Em's meal time like this. It is almost every hour she is persuaded (forced) to snacking or eat something although I understand Em does not want to. And my gut feeling says treating Em to eat every 1.5-2 hours is a little bit exaggerated. Because I think it is not what she likes. 

Sorry, but don't get me wrong on this. It is not because I don't love my daughter, but maybe I love my daughter that much so I always think that over worrying is not a good way of parenting. I would stay calm. 

I'm also saying that I'm not a good father as well because I still find ways to overcome my daughter's eating problem, how to overcome her addiction to gadget. But at least........ as parents, as couple, husband and wife, we need to support each other, we need to LISTEN & RESPECT more. I believe somewhere, somehow we'll find a way to overcome this situation.

Most of the time I always think of leaving... With all the situation and my health condition I have, I think this is too much. Either me or her would need a psychologist. Yeah we need a marriage encounter service.

I really really hope we can survive, together. And I hope it's not too late for her to realize that something wrong is happening between us.

I love her that much... 

I always pictures us in our old days together, holding hands, in our house, till death do us part... And I will fight for this... 

God, please help me, please help us...